Minutes of Elevenses Meeting of the Pembroke College Winnie-the-Pooh Society

In which Piglet has a list of men for marriages of convenience, and the mormons don't drink tea.

Held on Saturday 8th May in Annie's room, King's

Present: Ignatius, Will, James, Annie, Carol, Roseanna, Alicia, Simon, Alex.

  1. Yay, hurrah, alas: (responses to the meeting being opened).
  2. “You’re talking about Tophsop rather than vegans”.
  3. Will discusses his list.
  4. Enter Alicia.
  5. Annie has a list of men for marriages of convenience.
  6. Will can be helpful; it’s one of his many niche uses.
  7. Enter Simon.
  8. Unminuteable chaos.
  9. The secretary is against molestation.
  10. Silence falls, save for the meeping of Malcolm.
  11. The bar is within earshot of Alicia’s room.
  12. The bunny is a rock.
  13. The society requests minutes of the next meeting.
  14. Last week’s minutes.
  15. Malcolm is traumatised.
  16. “Eat cake, not war?”
    “Eat cake, not ear!”
  17. Enter Alex.
  18. He came up in Private Eye, and Carol’s job interview.
  19. “There’s a foreign Metro here. It’s like our one, but probably makes more sense.”
  20. We discuss the foreigness of many UKIP candidates, like Magnus Niellson, and Nikolai Tolstoy.
  21. “Roseanna, like Blofeld but with more hair.”
  22. We discuss Linguistics. And bakery.
  23. Can god believe in mathematicians? 4-1-1-2. (Yes he can; god does not believe in Land Economy).
  24. Visitors can vote. 6-0-1-0.
  25. Addenbrooke’s is a college, as is Anglia Ruskin.
  26. “If aliens had extra arms, would their Christians wear asterisks?”
  27. “Yes, but you’re strange.” 7-0-1-1 (yes, your strange butt).
  28. We read the appropriate OTIX, though the rain has now stopped.
  29. The mormons don’t drink tea, which Alex considers indicative of insanity.
  30. Platypus aren’t marsupials, they don’t have nipples.
  31. Newnham would have the severed head of a Griffin (Nick).
  32. Close. 4-1-2-0.

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