Minutes of The Pembroke College Winnie the Pooh Society Punting Expedition, 13/5/95.

Present : Alex, Angela, Sarah, Paul, Stephen & Huw (Editor) [NB - Lots of skivers!!!]

  1. Angela & Stephen were given punting tuition by Paul.

  2. Huw took over. 'My legs are all wobbly" he says (..... ???? - Ed.) and promptly punted us straight into 2 punts tied together. We attempted a graceful pirouette, with remarkably interesting results! [Accuracy alert!!! Who the **** wrote this? That was the only 'hairy' (aka exciting) moment in 15 minutes of otherwise superlatively efficient punting! I also take issue with the word 'promptly'! We were only sent back about 5 metres by the crash & I probably didn't need to brace for impact by sitting down!!! Humph, Humph, as Sarah Jonas would say!!!]
  3. Eventually we managed to turn around (!!!-Ed.) & Huw then did some extremely fine punting. [Thank you!!! - Ed.] Paul took over after the Bridge of Sighs (Angela : 'Paul's very good at this', Huw : 'And he's not bad at punting either!) and Huw wiped his cold, wet hands on Angela's warm, dry face as he assumed control (Ha Ha!!!) of the minute-taking...

  4. Paul unveiled a fetish for (presumably female?) Medics on the grounds that they are assured of a job & he could be a House-husband (& sex object - Ed.). He then proposed to Angela, who accepted infront of 4 bribable witnesses...

  5. Sarah took over the punting & promptly tried to decapitate her favourite supervisor with the punt pole!!! (Gratitude!!! - Ed.) At a hairy moment in her punting, having heard stories of her tipping 4 of her previous passengers into the water, Huw grabbed Paul's knee for reassurance. He reciprocated but fortunately Angela didn't see!!!

  6. Alex took over the punting (succeeding fairly well) & Huw tried to give the minute-taking privilege back to Angela but she declined (hence he is now typing at a computer during his Thursday lunchtime!) Sarah was upset that Paul didn't propose to her. He understood her displeasure but wriggled his way out of that unique fate by pointing out that she was attached already... (That was close! Well done Paul!!! - Ed.)

  7. Alex demonstrated a dangerous propensity for standing up in punts...

  8. Sarah's little finger went numb, she wrapped up warm & boasted about her 'nice' green eyes. (Not all at once! - Ed.).

  9. Paul tickled Huw (Ugh!!! - Ed.) & admitted he thought he (ie. Paul, not me - Ed.) was 'totally repulsive'. Angela, instead of re-inflating his ego by listing either his agreeable qualities, poured on the coals by callously telling him that his ear lobes were ghastly. Shocked, the rest of the punt truly felt for Paul.

  10. Sarah & Huw discussed some of the implications of the 'We need to talk Sarah' comment he had written on the end of her last essay. That conversation was continued on Wednesday...

  11. Upon return to the Anchor the meeting reconvened to Alex's room. During transit Sarah & Huw got separated from the others & received a very strange look from Dr Hickson (her DOS) at the p/lodge. (Probably due to unprofessional supervision etiquette!!! Im going to be sacked! Aargh... Otherwise he may have been disapproving of my walking around college with an opened carton of orange juice in my hand??? Nice try... - Ed.)

  12. The Society collectively (& aptly) read 'In which Piglet is entirely surrounded by water'. Angela claims she then let Paul down very gently by telling him that he was a really nice person but she felt it was too soon to be making such a major commitment. The. anonymous, almost-illegible minute-taker of the moment (probably Sarah!!! - Ed.) heard this (verbal!) ejaculation rather differently, as : 'No I won't marry you you're horrible!!!' The Society once again felt for Paul...

  13. The Medics present (Ugh! - Ed.) apparently decided that Owl was anatomically incorrect but the minutes (Alex now - Ed.) do not record the context & the Editor's memory isn't what it used to be!!!

  14. The final minute-taker didn't record whether we closed the meeting or not because the Society left Paul reading the romantic poetry of A. A. Milne to Alex all through the night... (DON'T tell Deryk... Sorry : just a joke - Ed!!!!!)

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©The Pembroke College Winnie-The-Pooh Society 1995.

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