Minutes of the elevenses meeting of the Pembroke College Winnie-the-Pooh Society held in B3 on the 17th April 1999. In which we learn to spell obstreperousness and Jeremy admits to a curious affair.

First meeting of Easter term (although not constitutionally necessary, as it's not full term)

Present: Ben, Jeremy, Belinda, Andrew, Gina, Richard, Anfony, John, Kirsten

Apologies: Neil (cricket practice), Mad Jenny(at home), Richard and Brian (visiting extremely scary Clare in London. And May Milne have mercy on their souls), Not-Mad Jenny.


  1. Ben opens the meeting.

  2. Gina has a pound, but needs to be supported as she applies for membership. Ben supports Gina, and we vote to let Gina join. She gives her pound to Ben, who passes it to Andrew. He will give it to Jenny (insert the usual innuendo).

  3. Anfony and Richard (dressed as a Trinity porter) arrive.

  4. Which tea? Decisions, decisions.

  5. Keemun? No, it's just the way we're sitting.

  6. Anthony talks about Lady Grey and French waitresses, whilst Jeremy discuses Jenny's photo collection with himself.

  7. We discuss the problem of differentiating between Jennies. Ben denies that she is mad. Everyone else disagrees.

  8. An exciting milk delivery conversation. Jeremy produces 6500 litres a day. We don't know about Sumptuous Bilberry though.

  9. The tea is poured. A pint of gin and tonic would be nice, suggests Richard.

  10. Film conversation - "life is beautiful" is it good, or depressing. Richard suggests you take an extra antidepressant before going to see it.

  11. The tea finally arrives.

  12. Anthony recommends sunbathing at 2 Selwyn Gardens. We will bring it up with the tourist board.

  13. Anfony tries to open a box of cakes.

  14. The Expotition. Lots of hills, cold, good fun. Anfony was trying to chat up a Norwegian.

  15. Jon and Kirsten (still pregnant) appear. Jon still needs a haircut. He goes off in search of last week's minutes.

  16. Kirsten announces that she is not dead.

  17. Anthony is censured for telling two boring and pointless stories.

  18. Jeremy says "urr urr urr urr ugh Kirsten".

  19. Chris shockingly arrives: Jon fulfils his duty with the statutory hug.

  20. Ben says his room needs expanding: we debate taking over the room of the fellow next door but can't remember who it is, so we stop in case we like him.

  21. Vote to censure Jeremy for gross obstreperousness (spelt by Jon): F., 3, Ag., 3, Abs., 4; Christopher Robin votes for; carried.

  22. Vote to commend Jeremy for suggesting grass that kills tourists: F., 6, Ag., 1, Abs. 3.

  23. Mass failure to understand Jon's witty puns.

  24. Ben tries to read the minutes of the last recorded meeting, which Jon has now gone and got: Ben seems unable to read normal English, but Jon's more purple passages are read perfectly well.

  25. Jon has failed to write to Chris Timms, but we skip lightly over the question.

  26. Dave Henderson is mentioned.

  27. Jon has also failed to find out about Blues status for Poohsticks but again escapes serious discussion.


  28. "Granny has a very impressive train!"

  29. The obligatory "who's Ed?" joke is made: Jeremy claims it's Mr. Ed, the Talking Horse, but fails to continue being surreal because he mentions fish.

  30. The question of Kirsten's underwear in Ben's room is addressed, and resolved by removing Ben's room from the sentence.

  31. We tax Ben for having failed to update the web records, just for variety from slagging off Jon's inefficiency, which is by now legendary.

  32. Calculus is admitted to the meeting, but happily the topic of cake supervenes. Nobody mentions expansions leading to pi, although pie can lead to expansion.

  33. Jon goes to get emergency cake, while Gina talks about her spin cycle with Kirsten.

  34. Jon and Chris whisper in the corner- could this be the continuation of a beautiful friendship.

  35. Anfoni wants a long one. Don't we all..... (some of us already have- Ed. Not the horse)

  36. Jeremy's not quite up to it today. He says he should use somebody else's.

  37. The reading is Chapter 8 of the Old Testament, "In which Christopher Robin leads an Expotition to the North Pole."

  38. Rapturous applause as Jon gets the breathing right while singing.

  39. Chris Timms is very much like Chris Topherrobin, in that he pulls so hard that he falls over backwards.

  40. You must take your own needles as well as provisions when going on an expotition. This public service announcement was brought to you by the number 5 and the letter "epsilon".

  41. Jon knows what it's like to wonder whether it's going to be this year, next year, sometime or never.

  42. We're not allowed to use words with the letter between w and y in it because of strange compsci connotations that are far too deviant to go into. Let's just say Henderson is very much to blame.

  43. Jon has no apposite for Alison-Alexander-Beetle. That's good to know.

  44. Gravity causes things to leap at Ben and try and kiss him. Hurrah, it's the return of the Ben's bottom joke, ladies and gentlemen.

  45. Jon is censured for calling Winnie-the-Pooh "only a Teddy bear". F:4 A:3 Abs:3. Motion carried.

  46. Jeremy missed Kirsten's gratuitous innuendo. She's definitely setting a bad example to the sprog, who we theorize is being set a bad example especially by scientists who want to stay in a job. We continue to victimise Belinda for being slow in picking up her prompt. What a strange meeting. More cake needed. Oh yes.

  47. Freud makes Anfoni mistake his Anger for his Kanga.

  48. We vote to censure Belinda for repeatedly missing her cues. F:3, A:4, Abs:4, motion failed, as she has the excuse for being jetlagged.

  49. We vote to censure Virgin for jetlagging Belinda and being run by someone with a beard. Heinous crimes indeed. F:7, A:1 Abs:2.

  50. Jeremy is having an affair with Dave Henderson, by his own admission. They apparently haven't had "x" yet, because Dave Henderson is a Unix. We stop this conversation before it really takes off.

  51. Jeremy takes the word "high-pitched" into a whole new level of painfulness, as the reading gets seedier and seedier, although not without help from Mr Milne, who uses words like "Rub's it up" gratuitously.

  52. Jeremy changes his story. He denies everything now. We don't believe him.

  53. Cemerson leaves.

  54. Alex Cairns claims that Jon is a compsci. Vote he is not. F:3 A:4 Abs:3. Oh dear.

  55. Next week's meeting is in CC32, at 4pm. Please bring a mug.

  56. Richard gets his Trinity Porter's uniform again- it's obvious that he wants to close. He moves that the meeting is closed (3,3,3) and by mandate of the Christopher Robin we do so.


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