Minutes of The Pembroke College Winnie-the-Pooh Society Annual General Meeting, held on the 6th March in N7, Pembroke College

Present: Rosy, Dunstan, Owen, Martin, Alison, Katie, Jon-h, Rachel C, Rachel H, Michelle, Matthew, Jack, Naath, Nick, Tom

Apologies: Roz, Various people who turned up for some of the meeting, anyway.

  1. Rosy opens the meeting.

  2. Votes to censure jack for wearing non-pooh related material: passed

  3. Votes to censure Jack for not abstaining: passed

  4. Votes to censure the Tolkien Society for holding their AGM on the same day as ours: passed

  5. The minute writer has ultimate power: passed

  6. Votes to censure those involved in non-pooh related material: passed

  7. Mmm…yum, yum…:passed

  8. Votes to commend Alison for the lovely butterfly cakes, despite the unsightly tin in which they are contained: passed

  9. The nearest court is the bowling green: passed

  10. We should write to McVities and tell them about our fingers: failed

  11. Votes to censure Neil: passed

  12. Votes to censure Neil for being late (proposed by Neil): passed

  13. Votes to censure Neil for interrupting the minutes: passed

  14. Neil is master of the universe: passed

  15. Votes to censure Neil for all that is wrong with the universe: passed

  16. Votes to censure Neil for being so foolish as to permit the existence of groups who can censure him: passed

  17. Most undergraduates do not know what they are doing, most of the time: failed

  18. Most post-graduates do not know what they are doing, all the time: failed

  19. Martin: failed

  20. We read something from the extant corpus from other people’s minds: passed

  21. Votes to censure Jonathon for attempting to put the minutes into context: passed

  22. Votes to demolish Alison’s house and to hold the Garden Party in the resultant space: failed

  23. Votes to commend Katie for saving Alison’s security deposit: passed

  24. Whoever takes control of the Society Website must back it up onto CD and submit a copy to the archive: passed

  25. Votes to commend Owen for all his contributes to the Society’ website: passed

  26. The committee create a temporary post called ‘The Charlotte’ whose duty it is to maintain the website.

  27. Votes to appoint Matthew to the temporary post of ‘The Charlotte’: passed

  28. The Treasurer delivers a report a on the Society’s finances.

  29. The hustings for President take place.

  30. RON is disqualified for breaking electoral regulations.

  31. Rosy is elected as President: Rosy 1st

RON (disqualified)

  1. Votes to censure Rosy for casting aspersions on the noble traditions of the society: hung – CR decides against

  2. The husting for Secretary take place.

  3. Dunstan is elected as Secretary: Dunstan 1st

RON 2nd

  1. We suggest Miss Simpson: passed

  2. Votes to censure Neil for making to attack Michelle: passed

  3. Neil must skip for Naath: passed

  4. The husting for Under-secretary take place.

  5. Jack is elected as Under-Secretary: Jack 1st

Naath 2nd

RON 3rd

  1. Votes to Commend Jack for husting in the style as a Gilbert & Sullivan patter-song: passed

  2. ‘Furry Bear’ is read.

  3. If you cut your feet to ribbons, then you have to remain outside and bleed to death.

  4. The hustings for Foreign Secretary take place.

  5. Votes to censure Matthew for ungentlemanly conduct: passed

  6. Votes to commend Rachel C for her lovely hair band: passed

  7. Rachel C is elected as Foreign Secretary: Rachel C 1st

RON 2nd

  1. ‘A Thought’ is read.

  2. The president is alarmed by Rachel C’s delayed entry noises.

  3. ‘His trousers only make me look up because…’

  4. Martin: ‘Yeah, I would like to be Katie, it looks fun.’

  5. The husting for Treasurer take place.

  6. Martin is elected as Treasure but declines the post, passing it onto Katie, who accepts: Martin 1st (declined)

Katie 2nd

RON 3rd

  1. Votes to commend the constitution for making it possible for Martin (Mr Constitution) to have been elected to every committee post.

  2. Votes to censure Martin: passed

  3. ‘Journey’s End’ is read.

  4. The hustings for Christopher Robin take place.

  5. Martin is disqualified for refusing to hust and to skip.

  6. Owen is elected as Christopher Robin but declines the post, passing to Alison, who accepts: Owen 1st (Declined) Alison 2nd RON 3rd Martin (disqualified)

  7. The hustings for James take place.

  8. Tom&Naath are elected as James: Naath 1st (draw)

Tom 1st (draw)

RON 3rd

  1. Votes to censure Jack for failing to provide honey and condensed milk sandwiches and for lying about the constitution: passed

  2. Jon-h resigns from the post of Home Secretary.

  3. The Grand Final of the Biscuit League is initiated but all three competitors are immediately disqualified for failing to produce the appropriate biscuits. The Grand Final is declared a draw.

  4. There shall be a Biscuit League special round at the next elevenses meeting in which we will discover which finalist would have won the Grand Final, had they all made a showing.

  5. ‘In Which Rabbit has a Busy Day and We Discover What Christopher Robin does in the Mornings’ is read.

  6. Votes to mandate Rosy to take Rachel H’s pidgin hole to an insurance company and get it insured: failed

  7. Votes to censure Neil for wearing non-pooh related material: passed

  8. I propose we censure Matthew for exagerw…extra…This sentence isn’t working for me so I’m going to stop: passed

  9. The tables are a heath and safety hazard; they’ve got Alison and Katie already.

  10. Votes to convert the meeting into an elevenses meeting: passed

  11. Once a mathmo, always a mathmo: hung CR decides in favour

  12. Martin is Harry Potter: passed

  13. Votes to censure Martin for excessive sarcasm: passed

  14. Martin is not really Harry Potter – phew.

  15. Dunstan is elected as a fellow of the universe.

  16. Is being a fellow of the universe bigger than being a man of the world?

  17. Neil is drinking Owen’s liquid.

  18. Votes to censure Owen for being nasty: passed

  19. Votes to commend Owen for the soup: passed

  20. Votes also to commend Dunstan and Rachel C for the soup: passed

  21. Dave Henderson is mentioned.

  22. Mustard.

  23. Neil has no imagination so we imagine one for him.

  24. Hello: passed

  25. It: hung, but I’ve already written ‘passed’.

  26. One might say that Katie is an obsessive compulsive: hung – CR decides for

  27. People from Pembroke are lovely so of course it makes sense.

  28. Votes to commend Owen and his acolytes for the main course: passed

  29. Neil: ‘she has hairdressers in her top drawers and too much underwear to fit in them.’

  30. Votes to mandate Jack and Jon-h to turn up to the Garden Party in white wedding dresses and bonnets: failed

  31. And my evil plan to capture the minutes succeeds…

  32. We discuss cheating; something which we would never do. Honestly. No, really.

  33. The veto is withdrawn on the ‘lovey-dovey’ motion from the 14th of February on the basis that it only said should’ as opposed to ‘would’.

  34. Various people show their unrequited love. Who they display it for, or indeed, who they are at all is rather a matter for debate but at least its there, somewhere.

  35. Katie explains the ambush related uses of a spring onion up the nose.

  36. Rachel C and Owen run off into the ‘sonnet’ or perhaps ‘sunset’ with the minutes, but in any event, it was actually the kitchen.

  37. Custard.

  38. Neil tries to pick up Katie.

  39. Votes to censure Neil for threatening Rachel C with a crayon: passed

  40. The strengths and weaknesses of table salt are discussed.

  41. Votes to commend Rachel C for her bread and butter pudding: passed

  42. Votes to commend Owen for the delicious custard: passed

  43. ‘For a brief moment I felt complicated’ – Neil

  44. Greek salad would compliment Neil well: ‘έντίμος or maybe άκολασιā άκοιτις’

  45. ‘I’m only a small person and big concepts bother me’ – Rachel C

  46. I’ll put Owen absence in here on the grounds that it confused me.

  47. Owen kidnaps the minutes and then can’t remember what Rachel was going to write about Neil and Dunstan.

  48. Owen marks the minutes but is interrogated by Rachel C before he can finish.

  49. Are we allowed to correct spellings?

  50. Dunstan realises that the level ambient noise in the room has dropped and that everyone can now hear his and Rosy’s conversation.

  51. Votes to ‘genre’ or possibly ‘censure’ Rachel C and Owen: passed

  52. Fork – Ow!

  53. Lecturers’ handwriting.

  54. More effort needed – see me!

  55. Votes to censure Owen for hijacking the minutes: passed

  56. Votes to censure Owen for hijacking the minutes: passed

  57. Nnyah: passed

  58. Its not a spoon: failed

  59. There is a spoon: failed

  60. The minutes move into the kitchen for the washing up.

  61. Neil sets about successfully disentangling himself from Owen’s room.

  62. Everyone gathers round the monitor as the life signs of Owen’s computer become critical.

  63. Neil’s tenacity avails him naught when it comes to reattatching Owen’s frog. As should always be done in a situation of this kind, a copy of the yellow pages is employed to its best effect.

  64. Owen’s computer makes a number of uncomfortable noises, starts to smell of burning, before shuffling off its mortal coil completely.

  65. Chess courageously attempts to rectify the situation.

  66. Never let a com-sci near your computer.

  67. The frog falls to earth again.

  68. Poor frog.

  69. Salad rights!

  70. There are pretty colours on Owen’s computer.

  71. Chess: ‘Weird chocolates of doom.’

  72. A three-headed frog – no really.

  73. Neil: ‘There is a lot of text on the screen that I can’t read…I sense a pacet of dolly mixtures coming on.’

  74. ‘It works! – Neil has lost his bet with Dunstan.’

  75. Neil treats us to a full rendition of ‘I was on the Monday Morning that the Gas Man Came to Call’.

  76. To have the Loyal Toast at this point is entirely legitimate and would fulfil the requirements of the earlier AGM retrospectively: passed

  77. The Loyal Toast is performed.

  78. [Enter drunken Tolkienites]

  79. Naath in ballet shoes.

  80. Votes to…um…erm…close: passed