Minutes of the Pembroke College Winnie-the-Pooh Society, held on the 28th Febuary 2004 in Room 1, IV, Library Court, Jesus College, Cambridge

Present: Ben, Granny, Rachel H, Katie, Dunstan, Matthew, Alison, Martin, Jonathan

Apologies: Rosy, Rachel C, Owen, Naath, Tom, Jack (by implication)


  1. Meeting opened.

  2. Votes to make anyone who turns up late cluck like a chicken. Passed.

  3. Pembroke alumni.

  4. The Poohsoc discuss list going crazy.

  5. Poohsoc hasn't changed in the slightest since

  6. Zips under armpits: Ben's had a lot of abuse for his jumper.

  7. Votes to censure Andrew for putting his cup down noisily. Passed.

  8. MS Word Spell-checker/Grammar-checker loops.

  9. Pick n items from a menu of x.

  10. Votes to censure Dunstan and Matthew for not following Minute 2 Passed.

  11. Votes to censure Dunstan and Matthew for not following Minute 2 Passed.

  12. Dunstan clucks on his own behalf and on Matthew's.

  13. "It has to be sticking in the ground otherwise where would you stick it? Oh sorry, that's a pole."

  14. People who Ben knows, one of whom drove Bryony up to Girton for a rampage.

  15. Chocolate Bread: Bread with Chocolate.

  16. Nude mafia.

  17. Christ's mafia: Promise taken a step further...

  18. "You could just pick all the chocolate bits out and leave the bread behind."

  19. Alison bunks off Tuesday-afternoon seminars.

  20. There's an electric connection between Katie and Rachel. Passed.

  21. Curb crawling... and roof-climbing for Trinity to get the duck. Or was it John's?

  22. Aircraft warning lights on the New Museums Site.

  23. "CCTV knocked all the fun out of Cambridge." Granny.

  24. Granny and Ben engage in hoodlum nostalgia.

  25. Minutes of 04 are read by Ben and Rachel H.

  26. Come In!

  27. "I was doing this before you were even born." Ben. Passed.

  28. For the record: Jonathan W did apologise for his absence last week.

  29. Grammar Nazis. Though it's not really grammar.

  30. It's all the minute-writer's fault. Failed.

  31. Apparently they trust me...fools. First control of the Poohsticks, then the money, now the minutes and the power is mine, ALL MINE!!!

  32. Votes to censure Neil. Passed.

  33. Votes to censure Ben so that he feels at home. Passed.

  34. Ben's a social scientist now; he does statistics!

  35. How come undergrads know who Maggie Thatcher is?

  36. We even remember the fall of the Berlin Wall...

  37. Ben is confused. It's quite easy at his advanced age.

  38. Alison is still as young and beautiful as ever. Passed.

  39. "How do I enlighten myself in the bathroom?" Ben.

  40. Dunstan husts for Bourbon Biscuits. But before he can start is interrupted by Aison's phone's rendition of the Dr Who theme music.

  41. ...artistic potentiality...

  42. Jonathan W went the wrong way when he went round in a circle.

  43. Katie wanted to hust for Sponge Fingers, but there weren't any, so she husts for Garibaldis.

  44. 29th February - women are allowed to propose.

  45. "Plastic chopping boards: a prime example of the folly of the EU." onathan W.

  46. Have you ever adopted a chopping board, and would you want to?

  47. Rachel husts for Custard Creams.

  48. Oxford are rubbish.

  49. "It's Neil, hurrah!"

  50. Votes to censure Neil for not following Minute 2 Passed.

  51. "I'm feeling sadistic today." Rachel H.

  52. Votes to censure Rachel H for over-censuring and thereby reducing the alue of a censuring. Hung: CR decides for.

  53. "Matthew... I mean that Matthew over there called Martin." Katie

  54. We're worried about Michelle - she's completely disappeared.

  55. "I don't spy on you; you're not significant enough to be worth spying on." Jonathan W to Neil.

  56. Votes to censure Katie for mentioning The Other Place by name. Passed.

  57. "It's not my job to deputise, it's my job to serve." Dunstan.

  58. The minutes are under terrible threat from Granny. Help! Help! A offable Hijacker!

  59. He dumped Katie. The bastard. Passed.

  60. "They're almost as bad as the women." Neil.

  61. Men: they're all bastards. Passed.

  62. In (60) the bastard refers to them being nasty and not to them necessarily) being the sons of unmarried parents. Or something.

  63. Votes to censure Dunstan. Passed.

  64. Ben had a next-door neighbour who was weird [Like he can talk... Ed.], lading to phallic vegetables.

  65. Reading, "In Which Pooh and Piglet Go Hunting and Nearly Catch a Woozle." Ben reads Piglet loudly and dramatically and Granny reads Pooh.

  66. Simon Redfern once called Granny deluded. And is a Woozle - one of the Hostile Aminals [sic].

  67. They didn't know what to do with Granny.

  68. Votes to commend Phil Jupitus for the Winnie-the-Pooh programme on Radio 4 and to mandate the Foreign Secretary to write a letter telling him so. Passed.

  69. Can the Queen vote? We'll ask her next time we see her.

  70. "My flatmate went to Eton. He's still OK though." Ben.

  71. Microscopes.

  72. Why don't set-top boxes go on top of sets?

  73. Search for Extra-Terrestrial Tiddly-winks Over Poland: SET TOP.

  74. Challenge the Tiddly-winkers to a two-legged game...

  75. How about we get armed with huge sticks and they get armed with tiddly- winks and we fight it out over whose game is best?

  76. Votes to censure people for violence. Passed.

  77. Bush. Yawn.

  78. Have we had this conversation before? Probably.

  79. "President Neil."

  80. Alison's lost it. She's finally flipped.

  81. PUT THE NEIL DOWN!

  82. "He [Martin] is my hub of power." Granny.

  83. Dunstan transcribes mediŠval manuscripts in his spare time, poor love.

  84. History.

  85. Assassins.

  86. Ben's friend's Professor accidentally ordered a nuclear reactor.

  87. Well-known Swiss sense of humour.

  88. Neil's scared of Rachel H.

  89. Poohsoc as a cover for orgies, just like Sheila (spit, spit) were.

  90. "Most undergraduates don't know what they're doing half the time." Martin.

  91. Bothersome Spam.

  92. "Winnie-the-Pooh is just an allegory for ordinary life." Ben.

  93. Neil reads "Jonathan Jo."

  94. Granny reads "Lines and Squares."

  95. Rachel reads "Waiting at the Windows."

  96. Katie, Neil and everyone else remember "Disobedience" with varying degrees of success.

  97. However, we commend Neil for his efforts.

  98. Jonathan W is off to re-invent calculus.

  99. Neil disappears too. In a puff of smoke.

  100. You can also disappear in a thermos of soup.

  101. (I don't quite think that's what Alison said, but she was talking fluid-dynamicist talk so there's no telling what she really said.)

  102. I have to take my helmet off and hold my bat up to the crowd.

  103. Votes to close. Hung: CR decides for.

  104. "I wish I was a woman." Ben

  105. "A mad, psychopathic lesbian and a fundamentalist Christian running a stolen street-furniture stall." Granny.


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©The Pembroke College Winnie-The-Pooh Society 2004.

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