Minutes of the Extraordinary Elevenses Meeting

In which a LARPer displays skills.

Held on Saturday 10th January 2009 in Rachel's Room, Newnham.

Present – Emily Dickinson (a friend), The Lord of the Nether-Hells (to annoy Twillo) (henceforward to be minuted as “Megan”), CGM [all hail], Roseanna, Rachel, Jen (another friend), James, Jack, Ed, Will.

  1. 4.01pm – Meeting opens.
  2. There is tea (in potentia).
  3. Party rings are thieved by Emily.
  4. Discussion of apple-crumble-flavoured tea.
  5. Rachel’s socks are approved.
  6. Enter James.
  7. Confusion at Megan’s LARPing glasses.
  8. CGM proposes we only read one set of previous minutes (the unofficial one) 4-0-0-0.
  9. We can vote that visitors can vote. 4-0-0-0.
  10. Reading of minutes.
  11. Plans of ballistic toast at John’s.
  12. Discussion of jam-spreading mechanism for ballistic toast.
  13. Giant Christmas pudding.
  14. Megan mesmerizes ingredients.
  15. Rachel’s parentals enter with a mystery package.
  16. Squirm, English student, squirm.
  17. Technicalities and pedantry.
  18. It’s Tibbles. 7-1-0-1 (‘he’ is Tibbles).
  19. Visitors can vote. 5-0-3-0.
  20. Everything Megan owns is squeaky. 6-0-2-0.
  21. We could make a post of Emperor and elect Ignatius to it. 5-0-1-0.
  22. I can count. 3-2-0-1 (six).
  23. I’m [James] an abstention. 0-0-8-0. C.R. abstains.
  24. Hurrah for milk. 6-1-0-1 (six and a half).
  25. Discussion of Roman maths.
  26. “It’s lava lamping”. 6-1-0-2 (six and three quarters; llama lamp).
  27. There is no noun which cannot be verbed.
  28. They only World War Twoed once; they World War Twoed Germany.
  29. Jane Eyre adaptation with…
  30. This isn’t Jane Eyre…
                                        It’s Fight Club.
  31. I have a skirt on too. 0-7-1-0.
  32. If Megan gave me Tibbles I could squeak annoyingly at people. 5-0-1-0.
  33. Hurrah!
  34. We signed our souls away. 3-2-1-2 (six and seven eighths; I didn’t sign nothing).
  35. Bzzz.
  36. James says that we can have tie-dye souls.
  37. Emily egressa est.
  38. Paint zeppelins with thermite and fill them with hydrogen.
  39. If people are queuing up for their daily rations, it’s a bad sign.
  40. Ooh silence. 5-0-0-2 (awkward turtle; [Rachel’s attempt at a straight face]).
  41. I’m filming you while doing this. 4-0-0-1 (6.1111).
  42. Somebody who’s not jet-lagged needs to pick a story. 5-0-1-0.
  43. Quick, look at Rachel while she’s not laughing! 5-2-0-0.
  44. Rachel picks a story by telling us vaguely what happens.
  45. I have no hands. 3-2-2-0.
  46. Committee vetoes this so I can continue to minute.
  47. Rachel got Tom Baker (stuffed) for Christmas.
  48. We decide on a reading: Piglet Does a Very Grand Thing (and take a while to get to the reading part).
  49. My great-grandfather’s dead; that’s why I’ve got his hat. 4-3-0-0.
  50. Robot arm with ears.
  51. Tibbles the attack possum.
  52. The hat is not undead… it has a really good reason.
  53. “I forgot I was queen of the zombies”. – Megan.
  54. Rachel disappears mid-reading.
  55. Owl = Spok?
  56. We attempt to translate Ignatius’ runic postcard and find a spelling mistake.
  57. Jen left a while ago.
  58. Postcard deciphering is difficult.
  59. Enter Ed.
  60. Enter Will.
  61. They took away Megan’s crazy-with-fire thing.
  62. Megan shows us her Ood porn.
  63. Is that a dwarf in suspenders?
  64. A psychologist would worry about Megan.
  65. Jack seconded something. What… he’s not sure.
  66. Unix/Eunuchs are explained in order to explain Will’s party.
  67. A thousand is ten. 5-1-1-0.
  68. This sounds like maths to me.
  69. Megan needs a microscope.
  70. “Why is there a naked lady statue in your room and why are you unzipping them?”
  71. [Megan] is normal. 3-2-1-1 (normal to what?).
  72. If all else fails, blame Scientology.
  73. After Jesus was put to death, no one recognised him. Clearly he is a time-lord.
  74. Do not interrogate the secretary.
  76. Time has passed.
  77. I’m sure that’s not in the constitution.
  78. I think he cut it in half or something.
  79. Rather than have the whole condensed milk fiasco again…
  80. Boing.
  81. But only because it’s January.
  82. Ed reads Solitude.
  83. I am attached to Rachel’s set of drawers. 6-0-1-0.
  84. Close meeting. 5-0-2-0.
  85. Let’s vote on those in the order in which they were seconded. 5-1-1-0.
  86. Meeting closed.

Text in italics minuted by Megan/ The Lord of the Nether-Hells (to annoy Twillo).

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