Minutes of Elevenses Meeting of the Pembroke College Winnie-the-Pooh Society

In which Annie is not prejudiced against transvestite orcs, and James needs a PhD, a knighthood or a sex change [Too much rhyming? Ed.].

Held on Saturday 27th February in Alicia's room, Jesus

Present: Ignatius, Simon, Will, Alicia, James, Annie, Owen, Roseanna, Jack, Carol.

  1. Commend Owen for bringing old minutes/archive etc. 5-0-1-1 (additionally for the teapot and vegan ginger cake).
  2. James was hoping that someone would know something interesting about grapefruit.
  3. People listen when Owen says something.
  4. It was green to start off with but now it’s brown. 4-1-1-0.
  5. Visitors can retroactively vote. 5-2-1-0.
  6. Commend the weather for being exciting. 5-0-3-0.
  7. Annie apologises for absence next week.
  8. Brackets are entirely my [Will’s] fault. 4-1-3-0.
  9. They’re from Whitby, hence the goths. 4-0-2-0.
  10. Minutes of the AGM.
  11. Censure James for colonialism. 6-3-1-0.
  12. He who pulls the knife from the cake will be the next true president of PoohSoc, maybe, if people vote for him. 6-1-2-2 (going with Jack’s fallacy; (s)he).
  13. “James, control yourself”.
  14. Unminuteable chaos.
  15. The thing with A* is you’re backing yourself into a corner, like bra sizes.
  16. We read Old Testament III.
  17. Call it clockwise and anti-clockwise for GOODNESS’ SAKE! 6-6-2-0. CR “Against”.
  18. Simon is a brain of no bear at all. 11-0-1-2 (bear jokes; I am the epitome of bear).
  19.  I will go and find him wherever he is and kidnap him. 7-2-2-1 (I shpoil with shpoils).
  20. Mandate Roseanna to kidnap Stephen Fry. 8-2-1-1 (The above minute is entirely joking, please, don’t arrest us, please, please, no, don’t tase me bro’!).
  21. Commend the Form of the cake. 4-3-2-0.
  22. With the ability to make a noise like that, have you considered a career as Xena: Warrior Princess? 6-0-2-1 (Woo, Ukranian Eurovision entries).
  23. What’s the collective noun for a group of Xena: Warrior Princess impersonators?
  24. We watch Roslana from Eurovision 2005.
  25. Annie is not prejudiced against transvestite orcs.
  26. Some Finnish names are girls’ names.
  27. Ignatius won’t be complaining. 8-0-2-1 (*Will does scary bear impression*).
  28. It’s you he’ll be molesting, not me. 8-0-1-0.
  29. James needs a PhD, a knighthood or a sex change.
  30. Owen and Simon leave.
  31. Close. General acclamation.

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