Present: Ben, Jon, Micheal, Martin, Kadia, Granny, Claire, Yasmin, Anfoni, Mad Jenny, James, Richard + Neil, Belinda.
Apologies: Heathcliff, Kirsten, Vicky, Chris, Rob, Jenny.
Guests: Martin (Kadia's), Tim and Greg (Jenny's), Brian (anyone's).

1. Ben opens the meeting in grandiloquent style. Brian claims to be a member.
   


2. Vote that all the visitors except Brian be allowed to vote : F., 8, Ag., 4., Abs., 0; carried.
   


3. The reading of the minutes is commenced by Kadia with a splendid noise by Brian which I'm not going to attempt to transcribe - it would be an injustice.
   


4. We vote to censure Granny for low-quality minutes: F., 8, Ag., 2, Abs., 5; carried. Brian tries to vote again - bad Brian, naughty Brian!
   


5. A vote to allow Brian to vote just about finds a seconder despite urgent representations from the Commitee: F., 8, Ag., 5, Abs., 2; carried.
   


6. Granny reads the minutes of the AGM, but they become confused and Ben has to give a resum‚ to explain why he's still President.
   


7. D A S H A M A P A T R A. A great deal of effort is made to spell this for no very clear reason. Jenny?
   


8. We debate the relative merts of France and Ireland. How to judge? By love of Pooh, by cheese, by frequency of washing, by bread or by the fact that it was French nuclear testing that brought Godzilla back to life? Tricky...
   

Votes for France: 3.
Votes for Ireland: 6.
Votes to let them both go hang: 6.
Actual abstentions: 1.

The quantity of xenophobia in the society is discussed, with somewhat more urgency by those with overseas connections. The Secretary feels it should be noted that we do in fact love everyone regardless of creed or colour or national extraction, except Sheila (spit!). And Sainsbury's. And the French. And... I'll shut up now, shall I?

9. The reading is "In which Tigger comes to the forest and has breakfast", so as to exorcise our distrust of foreigners.
   


10. Yasmin performs a quite excellent "worraworraworraworra."
    


11. Ben apologises for next week, and goes away with Granny to change his clothes. Jon says can he please come back with some?
    


12. Kadia is pressured to play the part of Piglet. We offer her a lemon slice by way of support, but it is the chocolate one that makes the real difference.
    


13. Claire goes puce red at Brian's Roo impression.
    


14. Vote of thanks to Kadia: F., 14, Ag., 1, Abs., 1; carried. A small and decorous round of applause is presented her.
    


15. Vote of thanks to Brian for standing in as Roo: F., 13, Ag., 2, Abs., 1; carried.
    


16. Kadia apologises for next week, and leaves. Claire follows suit.
    


17. Brian's dictaphone is discovered as Yasmin wonders where the strange voice is coming from and is disturbed to find it's hers.
    


18. Greg leaves.
    


19. Micheal's "New flesh is always good" gets the first ­GOSH! of the meeting. He then goes on to suggest there was an icosahedronal window in Playschool. He is such a sweet lad...
    


20. Jenny was apparently upside-down the last time she visited Micheal.
    


21. Next week's meeting will be held in R4.
    


22. Jenny attempts to dip her mince pie in her tea and it goes horribly wrong. Not for nothing is she called Mad Jenny.
    


23. We debate 'high' summer in Venice.
    


24. Jon reads 'Sneezles' unilaterally. Inspired, Anfoni reads 'Disobedience', including the stage directions. Jon reads 'The Engineer'. Micheal reads 'Forgiven'. Granny reads 'At The Zoo'. Micheal reads 'A Thought'. Jon reads 'Four Friends' and puts it to the membership that A. A. Milne was on acid.
    


25. Micheal plumbs the books for disturbing things, and plumps for reading 'Lines and Squares' with Granny (blind), but only after finding a poem referring to Brian and Take That several times in the space of a verse.
    


26. We debate presents for Chris's dad.
    


27. Tim's friend apparently has a motorised bubble-blower!
    


28. The vote to close is postponed by Brian looking for a teabag to suck. We finally manage to get the vote seconded: F., 6, Ag., 5, Abs., 1; meeting closed.
    

Return To Lent 1999