Minutes of the Pembroke Winnie-the-Pooh Society Elevenses Meeting on Sunday the 6th of October

  1. The meeting is opened. Present are Richard, Owen, Roz, Neil and a new person called Naarth.

  2. In order to get skimmed milk we need to skim the cows first. Although if they're Cumbrian we also need to be wary of the radiation levels.

  3. Neil's toilet groans and whimpers throughout the night and day whenever someone uses it. This has been happening for the last six months, whenever Neil was in his room. We have no evidence it occurred at other times.

  4. Druidic Marriages. Richard questions the need for reaffirmation of marriage vows when one changes religion. Especially if one's original marriage happened in Oxford.

  5. Anyone can become archbishop of Canterbury. Charles should therefore be able to marry Camilla because of Henry inventing a new religion in order to get divorced. Except he didn't. ...cue scores of minutes discussing minutiae of difference between branches of christianity, most of which I don't understand...

  6. Owen's tea is 300 miles away. We wonder how he aims to make us some.

  7. Martin is duly censured for being unpredictable. He's not here! How dare he.

  8. Martin is commended for doing something unexpected for once.

  9. We are censured for being horrible-worribles.

  10. VOTE: The society needs a cow. Passed (For: Everyone here)

  11. VOTE: Mandate Martin to procure the cow. Passed (For: Everyone again)

  12. It is voted that visitors may vote if the inclination strikes them and they are able.

  13. If Andrew and Rosie both go running in the wood between their homes they may run into each other. Especially if it's dark and they're not looking where they're going.

  14. Neil has memorised the college goodness rating listing. Pembroke is top, obviously thanks to Roz's good influence on members of the college. Richard is concerned that the population of Kings has been diluted, although I'm not sure the student body is soluble. Naarth dislikes communists, although I think this is generally rather than specifically. The problem of Kings daring to place chorale scholars and comprehensive school students in the same room as expounded by Richard.

  15. "Beggars should be driven to the middle of a corn field and left there" Richard. However most of us don't share this opinion. At all. Richard is joining the police authority to make this wish become a reality. We discuss a specific beggar who Richard took care of after he was hit by a car, although he is now looking forward to his funeral. This may have something to do with him being attacked on the way out of the first day of the cambridge film festival. If we got rid of the tourists there'd be no more beggars. Just a huge hole in the local economy.

  16. Drug Addicts; Do they need helping or killing?

  17. Post-glacial Developments.

  18. It has been brought to the society's attention that the wheel clamps at Lucy Cavendish are in operation. Whether they have appendicitis or are having their flanges straightened they definitely deserve our sympathy. We propose to send them a get well card. Roz and Owen who realised the sad plight of the said wheel clamps will get the card this week as the foreign secretary is otherwise engaged. People can sign it at the Fresher's Fair.

  19. The Pooh levy should be a pound: Passed.

  20. VOTE: A week is the same thing as a minute. Passed (For: Everyone who was paying attention)

  21. VOTE: We should start next week's meeting in a minute. Richard points out he needs next week's meeting next week so he can look forward to it, but Roz says he can look forward to the week after nexts meeting next week instead. (Hung, visitor decides against)

  22. You cannot have a Christmas Dinner without being Christian. Druids have to eat nut-roast and an apple for pudding. All according to Richard. Naarth informs us that actually they would have had a hunk of meat for the celebrations of the winter solstice.

  23. "Animals which have been stroked in life taste nicer in death." Roz

  24. Neil begins to make preparations to go to church which is now a long way away.

  25. Neil is mandated to move his church.

  26. Neil jumping, thus making the world wobble is discussed, in order to make the church move.

  27. Neil is censured for not jumping with sufficient extravagance.

  28. Next week's meeting in S15 on Saturday.

  29. A heffalump trap should be built in order to ensnare freshers at the freshers fair. Passed.

  30. It is our 9 and a halfth anniversary this year. We are going to have a year of celebration.

  31. Reading: In which eeyore loses a tail and pooh finds one.

  32. Adulterous women can cause a church to stop using prayerbooks and go downhill. The chuch half-way up Huntingdon road used to be at the top of the hill, it slipped.

  33. Neil could be operated on to make him into a woman. We fear he has too many scruples to then become an adulterous woman so it won't help him in getting his church to move.

  34. Neil stole a panda as he was leaving. Maybe with time and patience he could become an adulterer.

  35. Big baths are good.

  36. Naarth pays her Pooh levy.

  37. Pembroke is in Ashdown forest as we've already established. Roughly in the middle of Cambridge, to the east of Roo's sandy pit.

  38. Library extensions can involve greenhouses or chinese lanterns.

  39. Owen had been cancelled. He still needs destroying however.

  40. Meeting closed at 6:20pm.

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