Minutes of the Pembroke College Winnie the Pooh Society held on the 6th November, in 2-something-8 Mill Road.
Present: Owen, Richard, Jack, Edith, Naath.
Apologies: James, Jon (modulo not being there), and female Jesuans.
0. Owen, Richard and Neil pay their pooh levies (to Jack).
1. Meeting opened.
2. We feel a great disturbance in the force, as if dozens of memberships suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.
3. Owen: Help yourself to tea, it's hiding under the camel.
4. Votes to censure the English students for being scared of us. Passed. Richard objects.
5. Richard: I've got three dinner jackets, but even the worst one wouldn't benefit from a formal room 278.
5. Jack: "Tom Garnett. A true rough diamond."
6. Votes to censure Jack for calling a garnet a diamond. Failed.
7. To book inner parlour: See Ken Smith, catering manager. He will tell you when it's free and pencil us in. Then he will give you a form which has to be taken to the dean. Ask Owen or Martin for help filling it in. The acceptance should be easy as we've done it before.
8. All: Caaaaake.
9. Richard: I had a downstairs bathroom and he always used to just climb in and appear in my drawing room. I had a love life at the time so, it wasn't always the best moment.
10. Naath: There was someone who changed their name to just 'David' to try to have a one character CRSID. But he got dxx or something.
11. Jack: He must keep get being found by people looking for file extensions or pornography.
12. Votes to commend Mr. Barclays Bank are Fascist Bastards. Hung.
13. Jack's favorite name change story: An ex-lawyer had a habit of helping his drinking buddies out with some legal advice, and he was so annoyed by an advertising campaign by a local law firm stressing their professionalism by saying "Come to us, not Joe Bloggs down the pub" that he changed his name to "Joe Bloggs" and sued them.
14. Minutes of the last meeting read by Naath and Owen.
15. Nobody say anything funny because I haven't got the laptop to type it up on. Abstained.
16. Richard (about X, Y, Z minute): There are too many mathmos in this society.
17. Votes to censure the members at the last meeting for a non-pooh-related reading. Passed.
18. Suicides in the '60s.
19. North Sea gas isn't as bad for you as coal gas.
20. MHF (via Jack): Conversations gravitate to slash, geology and TGGD ("The Great God Debate").
21. There is no minute 21.
22. Jack: Slash is a worrying form of derivative fiction. Naath: Slash is fan fiction where all the main characters are gay and having sex. *goes fetchingly red*. [Shurely Shome Mishtake? Ed.]
23. Richard: My computer doesn't have nipples.
24. I was explaining that even worse than reading furry startrek slash is appearing in slash, and she said "My God! That was you?"
25. And I said if you come in and do that every week and I'll give you a tenner.
26. You look at the clothes they are wearing, in the first picture before they take them off and imagine a story that explains it.
27. Why don't you just get a lash and I can hit myself with it. Swish! Swish!
28. We've got too many people with names beginning with R in this society.
29. You can read "James, James", "Lines and Squares" or "Doormouse and the Doctor" only once per term. Naath has. Very.
30. Women weren't always lawyers and accountants. They were governesses and laundresses and "laundresses".
31. Votes to commend Owen for Cake. Passed.
32. Edith: I'm terrible at recognising actors, it was about half way through when I said "Oh, that's Johnny Depp!"
33. It's been years and only then did the bitch we knew was in Julie Christy come out and show itself.
34. Reading: In which Eyore loses a tail and Pooh finds one (except "PLES RING IF AN RNSER IS REQIRD" and "PLEZ CNOKE IF AN RNSR IS NOT REQID" which Katie does so well we left for her to read next week.
[35. Votes to Close. Passed. Hopefully. Ed.]