Eeyore's Gloomy Elevenses Meeting of the Pembroke College Winnie-the-Pooh Society

In which spoons are quite crunchy, and the optative is easier to spot.

Held on Saturday 7th November in Eeyore’s Gloomy Place, Churchill.

Present: Ignatius, Will, Alicia, James, Roseanna.
Later: Eeyore, Simon.

4.05pm – Meeting opened.

  1. Ed’s kettle works sporadically.
  2. Ed’s tea is mineral proof.
  3. Commend Ed (for having fig rolls). 6-0-1-0.
  4. Alternatively, you could imagine Will platonically bondage-ing Ignatius. 4-2-0-1 (platonically bonding your face).
  5. Spoons are made of metal, which is quite crunchy.
  6. Science appears to be happening. Something to do with steel, fatigue and soggy doughnuts.
  7. Carol resigns as the James by text.
  8. Censure PoohSoc for fudging. 1-2-0-4 (I prefer toffee; commend PoohSoc for toffee; flying pandas; fudgepacker).
  9. The secretary is temporarily deaf. 4-1-0-1 (James mouths something silently).
  10. Thus a paradox is created by my very hearing that motion.
  11. Yay subjunctive realities!
    It’s better than optative, surely?
    No... the optative is easier to spot.
  12.  I mandate the secretary to wear pants on her head every Saturday. 1-4-0-1 (a tea-cosy).
  13. It’s in foreign; they do it that way there.
  14. Ed gave Will a small one.
  15. NTVII.
  16. The Apocrypha would be weird if Death turned up.
  17. Commend Alicia and Will for being sweet. 3-2-1-1 (Awww).
  18. It’s less amusing if you guys aren’t around. 6-0-0-1 (mnuuuuuuh!).
  19. Violence occurs and Will hugs James’ leg.
  20. The Rock was going to play Johnny Bravo.
  21. Ignatius reads “The Alchemist”.
  22. There is experimental evidence for the Tube not being lickable.
  23. Censure for non-Pooh-related discussion. 3-2-1-0.
  24. Pooh would not make a good Roman.
  25. Will is being mean to Orson Scott Card et al.
  26. Death pannels.
  27. “Why is there spaghetti in the toilet?”
  28. He shouldn’t have to do anything because he’s joined Rock and Roll.3-3-0-1 (He ain’t nothing but a hound dog).
  29. Will hugs himself. 4-0-0-1 (Will should start paltting his hair). [I preserve the original misspellings in the minutes for historic value... here, “paltting” should read “plaiting”. The undersecretary can’t spell – Roseanna].
  30. Alicia leaves to take her mother to chapel.
  31. University Challenge – Simon is on a team.
  32. Close meeting. 5-0-0-0.
Minutes in italics taken by James.

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