Adaptation of the final chapter of "Winnie-the-Pooh" by A.A. Milne

Pembroke College Winnie-the-Pooh Society Garden Party Play 1994

Scene One : Christopher Robin decides to hold a Party.

[Summer. The guests have sat themselves down with their various provisions and there is a quiet buzz of conversation. Christopher Robin enters wearing shorts and a sun-hat.]

C. R. What a lovely day it is! Summer has really come now.
[He listens carefully for a little while] Shh! Can you hear the cuckoo trying his voice out? And the wood-pigeons? I always think that they're complaining that its some-one else's fault. But it's too nice to matter.
[He whistles loudly . Owl enters, gown flapping]
Owl, I am going to give a party.
Owl You are, are you?
C. R. And it's to be a special sort of party, because of what Pooh did when he did what he did to save Piglet from the flood.
Owl Oh, that's what it's for, is it?
C. R. Yes, so will you tell Pooh as quickly as you can, and all the others, because it will be tomorrow?
Owl [helpfully] Oh, it will, will it?
C. R. So will you go and tell them, Owl?

[Owl tries to think of something wise to say, can't, and moves swiftly to another part of the lawn where Pooh is looking wistfully into a large empty pot, labelled Hunny. Exit Christopher Robin.]

Scene Two: The Anxious Pooh song

Owl Pooh, Christopher Robin is giving a party.
Pooh [looking up on the word "Party"] Oh!
[seeing that Owl is waiting expectantly for something more]
Will there be those little cake things with pink sugar icing?
Owl [contemptuously] No. Christopher Robin said that it's going to be a special party in honour of what you did when you did what you did to save Piglet. And it's tomorrow.
[Owl flaps off ponderously]
Pooh A party for me? How grand! But the others won't know it's for me. I don't think Christopher Robin will have told them. They won't know what I did when I did it: not about Piglet in great danger being in-tirely surrounded by water and The Floating Bear and The Brain of Pooh, and all the wonderful ships I invented and sailed on. What if they've all forgotten, and nobody quite knows what the party is about and they're all sitting there and then someone says:

[enter singers to perform The Anxious Pooh Song]

3 cheers for Pooh!
(For Who?)
For Pooh--
(Why what did he do?)
I thought you knew;
He saved his friend from a wetting!
3 cheers for Bear!
(For where?)
For Bear --
He couldn't swim,
But he rescued him!
(He rescued who?)
Oh, listen, do!
I am talking of Pooh--
(Of who?)
Of Pooh!
(I'm sorry, I keep forgetting)
Well, Pooh was a bear of enormous brain -
(just say it again!)
Of enormous brain --
(Of enormous what?)
Well, he ate a lot,
And I don't know if he could swim or not,
But he managed to float
On a sort of boat
(On a sort of what?)
Well, a sort of pot --
So now let's give him three hearty cheers
(So now let's give him three hearty whiches!)
And hope he'll be with us for years and years,
And grow in health and wisdom and riches!
3 cheers for Pooh!
(For who?)
For Pooh--
3 cheers for Bear!
(For where?)
For Bear--
3 cheers for the wonderful Winnie-the-Pooh!
(Just tell me somebody--- WHATT DID HE DO ?)

Scene Three: Owl invites Eeyore to the Party

[Owl and Eeyore talk on another part of the lawn]

Owl Eeyore, Christopher Robin is giving a party.
Eeyore Very interesting. I suppose they will be sending me down the odd bits which got trodden on. Kind and Thoughtful. Not at all, don't mention it.
Owl There is an Invitation for you.
Eeyore What's that like?
Owl An invitation!
Eeyore Yes, I heard you. Who dropped it?
Owl This isn't anything to eat, it's asking you to the party. To-morrow.
Eeyore [shaking head slowly] You mean Piglet. The little fellow with the excited ears. That's Piglet. I'll tell him.
Owl [fussily] No, no! It's you!
Eeyore Are you sure?
Owl Of course I'm sure. Christopher Robin said "All of them! Tell all of them."
Eeyore All of them except Eeyore?
Owl [sulkily] All of them.
Eeyore Ah! A mistake, no doubt, but still, I shall come. Only don't blame me if it rains.

[Owl flies over to the other side of the lawn where he catches Rabbit who was walking at great pace across the stage]

Scene Four: Owl invites Rabbit

Owl Hello Rabbit. Is that you?
Rabbit Let's pretend it isn't and see what happens.
Owl I've got a message for you.
Rabbit I'll give it to him.
Owl It's an invitation from Christopher Robin for you.
Rabbit I'm sure he'll be very pleased. Thank Christopher Robin for him. Do you think Christopher Robin needs some help? There's some serious organising to be done ...
[While speaking, Rabbit leaves at pace. Exit Owl.]

Scene Five : The Party

[Rabbit enters main stage and organises whoever is available to set up a table and eight chairs. Food and drink are put on the table. Enter friends of Pooh, chattering merrily, and all sit at the table. Christopher Robin sits at one end of the table, Pooh at the other, with Owl, Eeyore, Piglet, Rabbit, Roo and Kanga sitting in between. Everyone except Rabbit stops talking and looks in puzzlement at the Audience.]

C.R. Rabbit, what are all your Friends and Relations doing here?
Rabbit I didn't ask them. [carelessly] They just came. They always do. They can sit on the grass and watch.
Roo [jumping up and down on his seat] Hallo Pooh!
Pooh Hallo Roo!
Roo Hallo Piglet! [Piglet waves back , being too busy eating to talk] This is my first ever party! Hallo Eeyore!
Eeyore [nodding gloomily] It will rain soon, you see if it doesn't.
Roo [looking expectantly up into the sky] It hasn't. Hallo Owl!
Owl [to C.R.] I must tell you about a terrible accident - [to Roo] Hallo, my little fellow!- [back to C.R. again] which nearly happened to a friend of mine the other day....
Kanga Drink up your milk first, dear, and talk later.
Roo I can do both... [Roo has a bad choking fit and has to be patted on the back and dried off for quite a long time]
C.R. [bangs on the table with a spoon and all stop talking except for Roo who is having a bad attack of the hiccups and looking pointedly at one of Rabbit's friends and relations in the hope that everyone might think it was not him.] This party is a party because of what someone did, and we all know who it was. and it's his party because of what he did, and I've got a present for him and here it is. [C.R. looks under the table, and reappears. In a whisper:] where is it?
Eeyore [coughing impressively] Friends, including oddments, it is a great pleasure, or perhaps I had better say it has been a pleasure so far, to see you at my party. What I did was nothing. Any of you - except Rabbit and Owl and Kanga - would have done the same. Oh, and Pooh. My remarks do not, of course, apply to Piglet and Roo, because they are too small. Any of you would have done the same. But it just happened to be Me. It was not. I need hardly say, with an idea of getting what Christopher Robin is looking for now - [in a loud whisper] Try under the table! - that I did what I did - but because I feel that we should all do what we can to help. I feel that --
Roo [hiccups]
Kanga [Reproachfully] Roo, dear!
Roo [surprised] Was it me?
Piglet [whispering] What's Eeyore talking about?
Pooh [dolefully] I don't know.
Piglet I thought this was your party.
Pooh I thought it was once. But I suppose it isn't.
Piglet I'd sooner it was yours than Eeyore's.
Pooh So would I.
Roo [Hiccups]
Eeyore [loudly and sternly] AS - I - WAS - SAYING, as I was saying when I was interrupted by Loud Sounds, I feel that --
C.R. Here it is! Pass it down to silly old Pooh. It's for Pooh!
Eeyore For Pooh?
C.R. Of course it is. The best bear in all the world.

[Pooh opens the parcel to cries of "Open it Pooh!" and "What is it, Pooh?" and helpful remarks of "I know what it is!" and "No you don't!". Meanwhile Eeyore addresses the audience.]

Eeyore I might have known. After all, one can't complain. I have my friends. Somebody spoke to me only yesterday. And was it last week or the week before that Rabbit bumped into me and said "Bother!" The Social Round. Always something going on.

[Pooh undoes the present and almost falls over with surprise and delight. It is a ******* (find out when you open it!).]

Pooh Oh!
All exc.
Oh Pooh!
Pooh Thank you!
Eeyore This drinking business. Spirits and whatnot. Over-rated if you ask me. Silly stuff. Nothing in it.

[Owl, Kanga, Roo, Rabbit and Eeyore say good-bye and thank-you. Exit all except Piglet, Pooh and Christopher Robin.]

Piglet [thoughtfully] When you wake up in the morning, Pooh, what's the first thing you say to yourself?
Pooh What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?
Piglet I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting to-day ?
Pooh [nodding thoughtfully] It's the same thing.

The end

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