Minutes of the Pembroke College Winnie-the-Pooh Society Extraordinary General Meeting, held on the 15th November 2003 at The Inner Parlour, Pembroke College and in Room 1, 3 Selwyn Gardens

Present: Alison, Chess, Dunstan, Edith, Jack, Jonathan, John-h, Katie, Martin, Naath, Neil, Owen, Rachel C, Rachel H, Rosy, Roz, Tom

  1. The meeting is opened.

  2. Votes to commend Naath for bringing cakes: passed

  3. Its never too early to censure Neil: passed

  4. We decide, given that various members are expected to arrive late, to do elevenses type stuff first and to do elections last.

  5. We’re generally extraordinary.

  6. Votes to censure them for talking about non-Pooh related material: passed

  7. Is this going to work all meeting?: failed

  8. Owen is the evil witch from the gingerbread house: passed

  9. Votes to censure North Korea for making instant tea: passed

  10. Votes to censure North Korea for not providing a very good plot for the most recent Bond Film: passed

  11. Votes to censure ourselves for talking about non-Pooh related material.

  12. Last week’s minutes are read by Alison and Jack.

  13. Votes to make Ben Parker an honorary member: passed

  14. Votes not to tell him: passed

  15. Votes to censure Naath for not making Tom go and stand in the corner: passed

  16. Geh: passed

  17. If Katie died from eating the cake we would be upset, but if she died from other reasons then that would be fine: passed

  18. If Naath...?

  19. Votes to censure Tom for putting the minutes in context: failed

  20. Votes to censure Tom for putting the minutes in context: passed

  21. Votes to censure Neil for double jeopardy: passed

  22. These were not Michelle’s real ears: passed

  23. Minute n+49 from last week’s meeting is vetoed.

  24. Votes to censure Neil for incredulity: passed

  25. Votes to make Jack the new Neil: passed

  26. Votes to censure Jack and Neil for making life confusing: passed

  27. I am the Jess, whether I say `with regards to temporary posts’ in time or not: failed

  28. The final Winnie-the-Pooh story will never get read: failed

  29. We really did close last week’s meeting: passed

  30. Let’s not: failed

  31. Votes to make Jack...blah blah blah: passed

  32. The `blah’ does not suggest sincerity: passed

  33. That’s what happens when the Treasurer stands down.

  34. We should save some cakes for Roz and Dunstan: passed

  35. The ability to withdraw motions is becoming a nuisance. It spoils all the fun.

  36. We can primitively censure all four candidates for treasurer: passed

  37. Votes primitively to censure all four candidates for treasurer: passed

  38. Votes assimilate Neil: passed

  39. We have a skipping race round Ivy Court to decide the presidency.

  40. 1st contested veto (Owen has to open the box): Overturned

  41. 2nd contested veto (How can you possibly vote for the mint?): upheld

  42. 3rd contested veto(witch-burning in case of Neil being pushed in the Cam): upheld

  43. 4th contested veto (If anyone puts Neil into the Cam in order to make him lie face down in it and shout "I'm okay", then they are to be tied up and thrown in (something) and if they sink we'll let them off, but if they float we'll burn them as a witch): overturned

  44. Votes to censure Owen for not wearing a silly pink hat: passed

  45. 5th contested veto (Votes that anyone Reading Roo or Kanga must bounce up and down while reading): upheld

  46. 6th contested veto (In all future meetings the President shall have to wear a silly pink hat (whether present or not): overturned

  47. 7th contested veto (Censure Owen for not wearing a silly pink hat, assuming he isn't.): overturned

  48. 8th contested veto (‘n+8’ (There shall be a position called the Jack, whom (who?) for all purposes of quorum and sufficient votes for invoking constitutional motions, if the vote for be the majority, shall count as people) was not proposed and voted on earlier in the meeting as it presently (i.e. at the time of writing, but no longer) appears, but now): overturned

  49. 9th contested veto (Every third meeting after this one, every other word of Harry Potter shall have been written by A. A. Milne): upheld

  50. 10th contested veto (You're sitting next to the role-playing society; if you try hard enough you can persuade them to second anything): overturned

  51. 11th contested veto (Biscuits within the precincts of Great Saint Mary's are members of the university): upheld

  52. 12th contested veto (I love Katy because she's beautiful): overturned

  53. 13th contested veto (And no motions shall henceforth change the time, date, or place of a meeting, identity of a person, meaning of common words used in the constitution, or define anything other than human to be a member of the university): upheld

  54. I am so screwed: failed

  55. Votes to censure Owen: passed

  56. The Captain of Poohsticks makes a Poohsticks related announcement.

  57. We have a sample from The House at from Pooh Corner.

  58. Votes to commend the captain of poohsticks for her hard work and poohsticks related party: Passed

  59. Huzzah!: Passed

  60. The veto from minute 23 is contested and the veto is overturned

  61. Dunstan and Roz arrive.

  62. Votes to censure Neil for continuing to talk: Passed

  63. Presidential election ... hopefully unlike those held in Florida.

  64. Neil realises he can turn down posts and so resigns as John-h.

  65. Edith’s vote is not good enough for Martin: Passed

  66. Edith eats the last mouse that I’d been politely not eating for the last 1½ hours. Grrrr.

  67. Votes for President: 1st Martin, 2nd Rosy. Martin declines the honour and so ROSY IS THE NEW POOHSOC PRESIDENT!

  68. Various attempts are made to censure Neil, but as I was too busy recording who is president, I’m going to assume they failed.

  69. Make Martin hust first: Passed

  70. Votes to censure Owen for calling a motion: Passed

  71. It’s an advantage that John Prescott isn’t here: Passed

  72. Treasurer hustings.

  73. Martin is a Green Party candidate: Passed

  74. We can make Martin green: Passed

  75. Motion to censure Owen’s last pun "He excels at excel": Passed

  76. Before we announce the results we get a lecture on the accounts from Neil: Passed

  77. Vote for John-h or he’ll hit you with a stick

  78. Be careful what you do with your stick: Passed

  79. Katie husts.

  80. We have too many over qualified candidates: Passed

  81. Katie should dormouse on Neil rather than rat: Passed

  82. Naath husting. She is number 39

  83. The Sci-fi Society has more money than we do although neither amount is known.

  84. Naath is responsible for a countable number of Microsoft problems: Passed

  85. Votes to censure Naath: Passed

  86. The will of the society is important: Failed

  87. We should make Martin work harder so he can stand at the AGM.

  88. Votes for Treasurer: 1st Katie, 2nd Naath, so KATIE IS THE NEW TRESURER

  89. Votes to censure Roy for forgetfulness: Passed I think just about.

  90. Neil will go cheque hunting

  91. The treasurer is a financial genius: Passed

  92. Votes to commend Neil for making £300 as Treasurer: Passed

  93. Votes to commend Neil for gouging more out of the members: Passed

  94. Votes to make the nominees go away and not come back: Passed and vetoed. - didn’t we find we couldn’t veto in an EGM?

  95. Secretary hustings.

  96. Edith plays with John-h’s stick.

  97. (Opps. 95,96,97 don’t seems to exist)

  98. (passed outside the door) Votes to censure John-h’s husting for being too loud: Passed

  99. "I’m offering you me!" Edith

  100. Vote of no confidence in the James: Passed

  101. Votes for Secretary: 1st Dunstan, joint 2nd Edith, Rachel C so, DUNSTAN IS THE NEW SECRETARY

  102. Votes to mandate the new Secretary to whip the Foreign secretary: Passed

  103. Pooh hustings.

  104. "Have you ever got stuck in Rabbit’s hole?" John-h to Edith

  105. "How susceptible are you to concussion from being banged down the stairs?" Rachel C to Rosy

  106. "As Pooh I’d have a special relationship with Christopher Robin" Neil

  107. Votes to censure Neil: Passed

  108. Votes for Pooh: 1st Edith, 2nd Rosy

  109. Quick hustings for Foreign Secretary as it’s 6.50.

  110. Votes for foreign secretary 1st Rachel C, 2nd John-h RACHEL C IS THE FOREIGN SECRETARY

  111. Votes to censure Naath: Passed

  112. (Oops, again) Hustings for Kanga and Wol.

  113. Just in case it hasn’t been recorded: Alison resigns as coastguard on the grounds of incompetence.

  114. Votes for Wol: 1st Neil, 2nd Chess

  115. Votes for Kanga 1st Ron, 2nd Neil

  116. Votes for The James: 1st Jack, 2nd Naath

  117. The Home Secretary will die.

  118. We adjourn to Room 1

  119. Votes to censure Neil: hung (Christopher Robin distains even to comment).

  120. The fire bell rings repeatedly

  121. If people second everything, some poor sod has to write it all down: passed

  122. The bells, the bells. He comes, he comes!

  123. We are going to write to the city council, requesting that they replace all the pubs with tea rooms selling nice cakes and things like that: passed

  124. Let’s lock them out. Aha!: passed

  125. Alison is quite happy to excite feral members pf the society: passed

  126. Votes to censure the candle wax for attacking Rachel’s gown: passed

  127. Every sentence is worse if you overhear it: passed

  128. Jon split oo-er on the carpet - oo-er: passed

  129. Pretending to be a chair is Neil’s greatest strength: passed

  130. "It needs a slit halfway up it" - Jack

  131. "I’ve never drunk a drop, I’m a zombie" - Neil

  132. Butternut soup is consumed and enjoyed.

  133. Alison would rather be captured and eaten by a giant squid than be talked at by...

  134. One can cuddle almost anything.

  135. Votes to mandate John-h to cuddle Martin before the end of the meeting: passed

  136. Votes to close: failed

  137. Everyone is careful not to mention what everyone else is getting up to in the kitchen.

  138. Everyone looks at Chess, who is sitting on Neil’s lap, before looking away again quickly.

  139. "There’s a fair amount of giggling going on in that corner" - Alison

  140. "None of it from me, though" - Neil

  141. Votes to censure Jack for not wearing a gown: passed

  142. Votes to censure everyone who is not wearing a gown for not wearing a gown and to censure people who go to colleges that do not have gowns: passed.

  143. Erm...: failed

  144. Votes to censure Jack for not abstaining: passed

  145. `I don’t have any pants on’ - Alison: hung. Christopher Robin wishes to check.

  146. Various suggestions are made about Martin, including the prospect that he might stuff his blowpipe through the hole in Alison’s wall in order to ascertain her preferences for undergarments.

  147. Neil looks perplexed.

  148. We should censure ourselves for talking about non-Pooh related material.

  149. That should be amended to refer only to those who were talking about non-Pooh related material.

  150. John-h abandons the minutes to collect his din-dins.

  151. John-h sits on his cutlery.

  152. Owen finds the missing link.

  153. Martin can juggle two small babies in one hand.

  154. Neil mentions prostitution without being oo-ered.

  155. We’ll have the whole committee on the sofa in a pyramid: passed

  156. Mr Constitution speaks at some length about the previous motion and uses the words `Secretary’, `President’ and `Committee veto’ many times.

  157. Minute152 is vetoed. This is then contested by Owen.

  158. We vote on the contested motion: hung - Christopher Robin rolls some dice: `The first one says that it is 50 / 50’ then `call a meeting’ then `forget it’ - Christopher Robin decides against.

  159. Rachel C and John-h continue to exchange..

  160. Dunstan can get four breasts on the sofa.

  161. Votes to censure John-h for deliberately mishearing Dunstan: passed

  162. `Hello, can I have the minutes please’ - Dunstan

  163. `Yes, certainly’ - John-h

  164. Alison is cheating tomorrow, but not tonight. Alas. Alack.

  165. Pass a lot of silly motions to put him through his paces: Passed

  166. Neil languidly reclines while Dunstan stands imposingly over him, gown outstretched, fangs dripping blood while a large menacing grin spreads across his beautiful face: Passed

  167. Votes to commend Alison for recording the above whilst holding a bowl of salad: Passed

  168. 164 is the last John-h statement I’m minuting: Passed

  169. Martin is simultaneously hugged by Roz, Katie and John-h. Edith chases after him as he feels left out.

  170. How to whistle. "Pretend you’re above to kiss and open your lips a fraction more."

  171. Alison can’t get it to work either sucking or blowing. John-h, Edith, Katie and Rachel C demonstrate how it’s done.

  172. "I think I prefer the fire alarm" Jack

  173. Owen proves Pythagoras whilst Neil, Jack and Alison try and solve Fermat’s last theorem. Mathmo’s; the life of the party

  174. The Fire Alarm!

  175. And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid.

  176. Neil, The finite falling ladder:

Minutes 177-181 coming soon...

  1. I will be merciful and not minute Martin’s response to this which.

  2. "I wrap myself in Clingfilm and sweet profusely as part of my weight lose regime" Neil

  3. John-h asks Martin to threaten him.

  4. Alison passes Martin’s water to Neil.

  5. Edith proceeds to poke Naath to find out which bits are soft and which are hard.

  6. "That’s what you went home for!" Neil

  7. "Yes with Martin. And Rob. And Rob’s girlfriend." Alison

  8. We’re definitely not minuting something.

  9. A red wine tye-dyed handkerchief.

  10. Everyone’s in the kitchen as Owen’s so popular: Passed

  11. I am Kazakhstan (spelt jplomn): Hung, CR whatever

  12. Owen is no longer president so we should all dessert: Passed

  13. Jack extends: Failed

  14. Votes to censure Martin: Spoilt

  15. Votes to censure Martin’s Uncle Martin: Passed

  16. Censuring is a form of affection: Passed

  17. Votes to censure Neil in an affectionate way: Failed

  18. "Can I have jack covered in whipped cream?" John-h

  19. Children’s emotional responses to mathematical problems: ARGHHHHHHHH!

  20. Votes to censure all those talking non-Pooh related material by saying "niee!": Passed

  21. Alison has covered Dunstan’s pen in cream.

  22. From now on anything that looks like an advance is actually a retreat: Passed

  23. The people who are at a meeting are allowed to get the joke but anyone who wasn’t there shouldn’t understand a word: Passed

  24. "Screw the chair!" Edith

  25. Martin flashes his blue braces at John-h.

  26. John-h wouldn’t object if he did it again.

  27. Port: Passed (to the left of course)

  28. A toast to Owen, our outgoing glorious leader.

  29. A toast to all the members he’s presided over.

  30. "Do you know how to deal with a banana?" Neil

  31. The Loyal Toast.

  32. Cottleston Pie is sung.

  33. Biscuit league hustings: Amoretti v. Pan Stella

  34. Amoretti: 99 dunks (in wine)

  35. The date of the AGM shall be determined by the biscuit league: Failed

  36. Pan Stella: 24 dunks (in wine)

  37. "Boxes of Amoretti make great pets" Roz

  38. "It’s ok Neil, I’m feeling it too" Owen

  39. Your mum’s a tea mug: Failed

  40. Katie’s dad is a big hairy bear.

  41. Reading: In which Piglet does a Very Grand Thing.

  42. The Amoretti win.

  43. Midnight: Passed

  44. Reading: Lines and Squares, - Naath

  45. Reading: The Door Mouse and the Doctor - Naath

  46. We read just a few poems over and over so we don’t appreciate the whole collection: Hung.

  47. Reading: At Home - Rachel C

  48. Votes to censure Dunstan for getting it wrong. The MA gown’s sleeves should be tied behind Alison’s back.

  49. Washing and crockery is claimed.

  50. Votes to commend Rachel for drying up: Passed

  51. Votes to commend Rosy for washing up: Passed

  52. Votes to commend the cooks: Passed

  53. "Happy, happy psycho, Edith washing up" Edith

  54. Next week’s meeting will be held in M5a in Jesus College. Known to some as Rosy’s Room.

  55. Votes to close (1.20am): passed

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