Minutes of the Pembroke College Winnie-the-Pooh Society, held on the 24th January in M5a, Second Court, Jesus College

Present: Rosy, Dunstan, Jack, Jonathon, Michelle, Hon-h, Naath, Matthew, Neil, Alison, Martin, Rachel H

Apologies: Owen, Katie, Roz, Edith, Rachel C, Adam

  1. Rosy opens the meeting.

  2. Votes not to discuss grammar this meeting: passed

  3. Shall we censure Neil now?: failed

  4. Votes to censure Neil now: failed

  5. Trying to set a record: passed

  6. Making a raft out of the laundry basket: passed

  7. Votes to censure Jack in accordance with minute no. 2: passed

  8. I bet that Jack cannot bait Dunstan into a grammar debate: passed

  9. Votes to censure Neil Twice: hung

  10. Dunstan is a very confused secretary: passed

  11. Matthew: `Somebody shoot me and find out’: passed

  12. Votes to commend Neil Twice for not existing: passed

  13. Alison is the tank and Martin is the sand: passed

  14. One must not attack Alison without anti-tank weapons: passed

  15. If Neil was an ocean liner, then dropping him into water head first would destroy him: hung

  16. If he were a lifeboat then we could do other bad things to him: passed

  17. Leave Dunstan alone: passed

  18. Or sideways: passed

  19. If Neil were an ocean liner, he could sail away to the land of China; if we turned upside downina, he could self-right in North Carolina, where nothing at all is finer, than Neil the Ocean Liner.

  20. Neil: `Its an interesting life that I lead’: passed

  21. Something about Jon-h being secretary and `all-sorts’, liquorish and / or otherwise: passed

  22. Mandate: passed

  23. Go away: passed

  24. Minutes of meeting of the Pembroke College Winnie-the-Pooh Society, held on 17th January 2004 are read in turn by Alison, Martin, Jon-h, Jack, Rosy, Dunstan, Michelle, Alison, Jonathon Matthew, Neil, James, Anna, Hannah, banana, Hosanna, Rhoana, Piana, McHammer and... Owen’s right cheek.

  25. It always has been, and always will be forever and ever, plural: passed

  26. Votes to ban Cheddar Gorge from the discussions list: passed

  27. If anyone breaks the above rule, then they will be required to bring 20lbs of cheddar (and / or gorge) to the following meeting: passed

  28. Votes to commend Ben (not bill) for killing the aardvark: passed

  29. Elephant and Castle: passed

  30. Anyone who does not listen to Radio Four will be reduced to quivering mass, except in the instances of those who cannot get Radio Four: passed

  31. Neil: I wouldn’t want the whole of the third world to rise up against me.

  32. Someone: `You know when you play a video in fast-forward...’ in relation to Rosy’s particularly rapid and high-pitched recitation of a something on her computer screen.

  33. The Secretaries’ Revolt.

  34. Christopher Robin is revolting: passed

  35. Conspiracies are being made all around me by Dunstan and A-A-Alison.

  36. Jack thinks that a long bludgeoning device is too obvious a concept ... oo-er.

  37. Jack is supposed to be helping: passed

  38. Votes to mandate Naath to watch her back: passed

  39. Roz, via the mouth of Rosy, successfully husts for [tasteless] Pink [rubbish and smelly] Wafer Biscuits, defeating the [would-have-been-delicious] totally absent Foxes Crunch Creams be default.

  40. Votes to commend Neil for having socks that match his trousers (arr…bless his little cotton socks): ?assed

  41. Reading: In Which Tigger is Unbounced.

  42. The society’s testaments should have a little bit of Rachel [H] in them: passed

  43. Jon-h leaves to go to Hull.

  44. Dunstan (to Alison): Can I offer you a bit of bed?

  45. Alison (in reply): If you are going to be such a gentleman and offer first, then I’ll take it.

  46. Paint Edith yellow: failed

  47. The Next meeting shall be held in Piele 304, Newnham College.

  48. The committee can hire / hire purchase / loan members of the society to raise funds: passed

  49. A mini-skirt: passed

  50. The poster of a boat is a mini-skirt: passed

  51. We wonder why Rosy has a mini-skirt on her wall.

  52. We are in trouble if we turn the poster in a mini-skirt.

  53. Neil has mini-skirts on the brain: passed

  54. That has got to be a new way of wearing them.

  55. Votes to close: passed

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