Extraordinary Post-Easter-Egg-Hunting Meeting with Sheila and Her Dog Society

In which the worrying bits are more worrying than usual. I blame Sheila.

Held on Wednesday the 18th of March 2009 in Alicia's Room, Jesus.

2.45pm – Twillo opens a meeting on the stairs and I ignore until I can sit and minute.

  1. There are Sheila-ites in here.

Present: Mickey, CGM, Bazil, Jack, Steve, Will, Ignatius, Roseanna, Joshua, Alicia, Elena, Simeon Bird.

  1. Nothing interesting is happening on the stairs.
  2. Do not read minutes of the last meeting. 5-1-0-0.
  3. Visitors can vote. 5-1-0-0.
  4. Nothing in the room is a penguin. Lots-few-few-few.
  5. Yes it was. 5-0-0-0.
  6. We discuss whether the Reeve or the minutes are more omnipotent.
  8. There are Turkish Delights.
  9. Do we want to make Ignatius Death? 3-6-1-0.
  10. Censure Mickey for heathen tea. 4-4-1-0. CR decides “against”.
  11. Your boyfriend’s in America, mine’s in Spain and Jack’s is in Sweden. And a woman.
  12. Alicia has Nora Batty legs.
  13. Super-hyper-monkey-factoriser go! 6-some-some-2 (I beg your pardon; I disapprove of the concept).
  14. There’s a motion, there must be votage! 6-some-some-1 (“Votage” is not a word).
  15. There are two motions. 3-6-0-0.
  16. I was kinda asking for that. 8-some-some-1 (That’s what she said).
  17. Jack, be nice. 6-some-some-1 (Jack be quick, Jack jump over the candlestick).
  18. Denial of service attack. 3-4-0-0.
  19. Pooh is not being read.
  20. Joshua is being weird with Alicia’s lamp.
  21. Can we continue now? 6-some-some-1 (Stop! Hammer time).
  22. 1066 and all that.
  23. This reading is actually hilarious.
  24. Visitor’s can’t propose motions. 5-5-0-0. CR will decide later.
  25. “That’s a very phallic cushion you have there, Steve.”
  26. I suspect perversion of the reading. There were furries in there… hmm. Also “The Venemous Bede.”
  27. Twillo should skip ahead. 6-some-some-1 (Twillo should skip everywhere).
  28. This book is strange.
  29. Neah. 7-some-some-0.
  30. It’s not rape if you say “Surprise!”.
  31. Shoot Ignatius. 6-3-0-1. (His name is Sandy Walters).
  32. That’s a good question actually.
  33. There was no motion about rape. 7-3-0-0.
  34. We’re going to vote on them all, damnit. 5-5-0-0. CR decides “for”.
  35. Ignatius is shot.
  36. Stopping now. 4-4-1-2. (Don’t stop me now, I’m having such a good time; hammer time).
  37. Commend Will for excellent use of “mandated”. 6-0-3-1. (What does “mandated” mean?).
  38. CGM reads a poem.
  39. Clearly Sheila is bad because they second too many things. Grah.
  40. Bazil reads.
  41. Ignatius wanders out onto the balcony to dry.
  42. Nipple is there. 3-0-5-1 (See no nipple, hear no nipple, know no nipple).
  43. Now we will read your braaaain.
  44. Now I’m ignoring you. 6-3-1-0.
  45. Poohsoc is getting very strange. 5-0-0-1. (Poohsoc has always been and will always be perfectly normal).
  46. Sheila is meant to be six and innocent. 5-2-2-1. (Seven and darkly perverted).
  47. “Don’t get upset just because I’m a manly woman.” – Will. 5-2-1-0.
  48. I’m ignoring Mickey too.
  49. Mickey is invisible. 6-2-1-1. (I would say he’s more translucent, but never mind).
  50. Alicia’s kettle floated.
  51. We could set fire to something small… we’ve got a bell and a book.
  52. Would it be possible to suspend the constitution until the second coming of Christopher Robin?
  53. James was akin to the Pope. 5-1-0-0.
  54. CGM has a hat… it may be meant to be pope-like.
  55. Ghostbusters music in the background.
  56. Enter Elena.
  57. The character of Moist- good or not. 6-0-0-0.
  58. She has ninja skills. 4-4-1-1. (Skillz). CR decides “for”.
  59. Mickey should try asking nicely first. 7-1-0-0.
  60. Mickey, never do that again. 3-1-3-0.
  61. Exit Joshua.
  62. Ignatius says that I can put the photos of him in makeup on Facebook.
  63. Bazil leaves.
  64. There’s a difference between being moral and wanting to pass exams.
  65. It’s not genocide unless you kill all the Mickeys. We’ll crash a zeppelin into one of them in a parallel universe.
  66. Simeon is coming.
  67. Dignity-fail.
  68. They have BROKEN MY MIND!
  69. They were wearing socks all the time.
  70. I refuse to provide context, so this cannot be understood in future readings.
  71. Mickey says that he is not a furry.
  72. “Methinks the furry doth protest too much.”
  73. The assumptions are entirely reasonable.
  74. The three main characters in CGM’s comic are a zombie, a metaphorically uplifted talking dog and a transvestite.
  75. Will is playing Kingdom of Loathing. Oh dear.
  76. That silence was slightly awkward… maybe. And it was twenty past. Win.
  77. I do not approve of this plan. That I didn’t hear. Because I’m ignoring you.
  78. The loving description by some authors of women’s breasts in zero gravity is not appreciated by CGM. 7-1-0-1. (Double-sided bras).
  79. Karmic retribution; I has it.
  80. Free Frisbee is a subset of Win.
  81. Enter Simeon.
  82. Jack dares Mickey to blast him out of space.
  83. You don’t have to go on about it. 4-3-1-1. (Will is pro-choice about being against democracy).
  84. Simeon is against democracy.
  85. Mickey is.
  86. What? What? What? What? Ooooh *hand movement*.
  87. CATAM is a perversion and will not be spoken of here. 5-3-1-1. (CATAM is glorious and gets me free α’s).
  88. The motion really, really didn’t work.
  89. Censure will and Simeon for engaging in perversions. 8-1-1-1. (CATAM is also a furry).
  90. Alicia deserves a little bit of derision for not believing in the Senior Wrangler.
  91. Why is Will eating the cushion?
  92. Will will probably be here next year.
  93. Next week’s meeting is chez CGM.
  94. Science fiction went bad in the seventies when it realised there were two genders.
  95. Commend Roseanna for being verbose. 4-3-2-1. (That’s not verbose).
  96. Censured (with feeling). 5-2-1-0.
  97. Simeon Bird has copyrighted mannerisms.
  98. He went back in time and told M. C. Hammer “Yo!”. It’s Simeon’s fault.
  99. Will the real slim Reevey please stand up. 5-0-1-0.
  100. “He can’t consent! He can’t consent!”.
  101. Exit Elena.
  102. Alicia got high on Simeon’s scoring algorithm. 7-1-0-0.
  103. Did someone say “raspberry”?
  104. Close meeting. 6-0-0-1. (Time dependent and zero sum).

Return to Lent 2009