Minutes of the Extraordinary Elevenses Meeting, 31/07/99

Held in R4, Pembroke College, Cambridge.
Present: Jon, Kirsten, Benedict,Gina, Brian.
Apologies: Jeremy, Anthony, Micheal, Dave Henderson (included after much debate since he isn't actually a member)
Guests: Natalie, Marcus (or Hatter as he seems more familiar).

  1. Tea is prepared and the meeting opened.

  2. Marcus complains about being abducted by women who say 'cake' to you; apparently he remembered nothing further until he arrived here.

  3. The reading is, "In Which Eeyore has a Birthday and Gets Two Presents", in honour of Kirsten having recently become Really Actually Grown-Up (she denies all charges). She plays Eeyore, Marcus plays Wol and Natalie plays Christopher Robin. Gina narrates, at considerable speed.

  4. Brian arrives and Flanders-and-Swanns us. He proceeds to make more tea and attempt to set Gina up with Jon. We inform him that Gina is married and that baby there belongs to Jon and Kirsten but he refuses to be daunted. Jon is forced to decline on the grounds that Gina's Barry is bigger than him, but compensatory compliments are made about Gina's legs by all involved parties.

  5. Dave Henderson is mentioned: Kirsten says he did actually apologise and we therefore thus note him.

  6. Brian re-enters from the kitchen and says, "Ooh." Marcus quotes Madonna in what he seems to feel is a connected manner.

  7. Brian climbs on people so as to be able to read his lines; in between them he finishes making tea and nearly turns Piglet into a goblin. Once his performance stabilises however it is quite splendid, almost as if Ben had never left.

  8. There is a temporary pause to clean up baby vomit. Shortly afterwards Brian Pythons without due cause: bad Brian, naughty Brian.

  9. Question: what does Pooh think you do with balloons? Is he on the verge of revealing a cosmic truth and stops just in time, as Tyerman-Williams might have it, or is it just an implied innuendo? There's research funding in this if we play our cards right.

  10. Kirsten reads the minutes of the last meeting. Jon asks for matters arising, but there are none. However, when Jon's chronology in the minutes is questioned he asserts that time is fractal in nature. Unfortunately Brian, wearing Kirsten's hat at the time, turns physicist on him and he is unable to waffle sufficiently to save himself.

  11. Any Other Business then: Jon has to inform the Society, in as much as it be gathered here, that he has been unsuccessful getting funding for next year and will thus be forced to return his student status and get a job and Stuff. This means that he will be sadly unable to act as Secretary next year and therefore he announces his resignation, effective as from the first day of next term. This gives us lots of time to schedule an EGM as required by the Constitution, and Jon says he will pigeonhole people and mail the mailing list as soon as respectively possible. Everyone is commiseratory. N.B. at the time of writing we were also looking at the loss of our beloved President but I am happy to inform the Society that since then he has announced that he will be funding himself and thus will be present. Hurrah!

  12. We elect to minute that Emma Bennet also has lovely legs.

  13. One of Gina's exes is being a kinky schoolgirl, she reports. Perhaps it is fortunate that Ben isn't here after all...

  14. Goth chat follows while the non-Goths among us stealthily eat all the cakes.

  15. Benedict wishes to raise the point: "Ah, ungha." We all nod sagely.

  16. 17.We debate Mr. Robin Fairbairns, a of Kirsten's. Gina coughs at his road-safety measures [the nature of which I forget].

  17. Leather trousers, and Michael Nonweiler, occasional Poohsoc visitor, have apparently been seen in combination. This is most unsettling to those of us who know him.

  18. Geek chat ensues, and discussion of Rocksoc marriages, the rapid arrival of Rocksoc babies in their wake, and Gina and Barry.

  19. Kirsten and Marcus decide to get married in Spain, where group marriage is allowed; Jon however complicates things by refusing to marry Marcus.

  20. We vote that the visitors should be allowed to vote: F., 2, Ag., 2, Abs., 0, Asleep (a welcome return for this old category in Poohsoc votes), 1; hung. We have therefore to ask one of the visitors and they, surprisingly, vote for; carried.

  21. This allows a vote to censure Jon for Python: F., 4, Ag., 2, Abs., 0, Asleep, 1; carried. Curses.

  22. Cake is cut into n+1 pieces, and only n are required: Jon is melodramatic about how he was hoping to use all the plates and has been cruelly disappointed.

  23. Marcus reveals his complex plan involving selling his house to the estate agency he is renting it from, which will allow him to elope with Kirsten. He decides to try and get a Mercedes out of Barry by proposing to him first though.

  24. Jon stops minuting as there's altogether too much marriage conversation going on for his liking.

  25. We decide to hold next week's meeting in a combative fashion at Marcus's house, since he is an erstwhile Sheila (spit) type and therefore needs conditioning.

  26. Sensing the meeting coming to a close Marcus chooses his moment and attempts to elope with Kirsten. He requests someone to call him an aeroplane. Which, as Jon points out, was asking for it really. He obliges: "Hatter, you're an aeroplane," and claims to feel much better for it.

  27. We plot to assassinate people's parents to fund further elopement attempts.

  28. Vote to close : F., 4, Ag., 2, Abs., 0, Asleep, 1; closed.

Return To Long Vacation 1999

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