Minutes of the Meetings of the Pembroke College Winnie-the-Pooh Society Held on 11th October 2003 at the Freshersí Squash

Present: Owen, Roz, Dunstan, Rosy, John-h, Neil, Jonathan, Rachel H, Rachel C, Richard M-H

Guests: Cherarg (Iím sorry if thatís spelt wrong), Michelle, Ruth, Sara, Helen, Caroline, Diana, Eleanor, Rachel.

Apologies: Katie, Jonathan, Naath

  1. Meeting opened.

  2. Votes to let visitors vote.

  3. Votes not to recognise the "EGM": Passed.

  4. Based on the presence of no fewer than five phone sockets (and about 4 network points) we deduce that the Pembroke SCR are scheming to launch a bloody coup and rule the country, or perhaps even the world, from N7.

  5. Votes to censure Neil for suggesting we waste valuable cakes. Passed.

  6. Neil: Letís get all the censuring out of the way so the Freshers donít get the right idea about how the Society works.

  7. Votes to censure the bin for injuring a member of the Committee. Passed.

  8. Votes to commend the bin for successfully ambushing Alison. Passed.

  9. Votes to censure the Secretary for not keeping up. Passed.

  10. Votes to censure Neil for proposing lots of motions just to annoy and confuse the Secretary. Passed.

  11. We work clockwise around the room saying "Thatís Jack."

  12. We all introduce ourselves, but more people keep arriving. Which causes confusion. Neil wins a competition with his left shoe that weíll get distracted more than five times on the way round.

  13. Rachel C is going to walk round in circles for the whole meeting. Passed.

  14. Votes to censure Jonathan for giving away Society secrets. Passed.

  15. We ought, at this point, to throw Neil in the Cam.

  16. Rachel H pays her Pooh Levy.

  17. If youíre building a fence, or indeed a house, and all your posts disappear, that could be awkward.

  18. If you carry £10 across town you wonít get mugged but if you have £12 you might.

  19. Votes to rename Neil the Pembroke College Winnie-the-Pooh Society. Passed.

  20. Votes to commend the biscuit on its courageous leap for freedom. Passed.

  21. Neil: That biscuit is my hero.

  22. Owen is a mathmo. Passed.

  23. Present, at present, are only four mathmos and Four Medics.

  24. We offer people letters other than T. The letter Q is proposed as an alternative as there is one thought to be readily obtainable outside HSBC.

  25. Roz and John-h return from their recruitment drive outside the Portersí Lodge.

  26. Weíre building up a fractal pattern of places visited over time.

  27. We shouldnít have a Society Biscuit Passer, weíll just make John-h do it every time.

  28. Neil is the Societyís Synchra-moose. Passed.

  29. The minutes are read by various Freshers.

  30. This is not an ordinary society, is it? Passed.

  31. Votes to censure them for interrupting the minutes. Passed.

  32. Everyone introduces themselves (again). We say "Thatís Jack" some more.

  33. Votes to censure Martin for not wearing a silly pink hat. Passed.

  34. Votes to censure Martin for not coming to the Squash tomorrow. Passed.

  35. When Neilís dressed up as a giraffe he should drop in and say hello. Passed.

  36. Votes to censure Rachel C for being Late. Passed.

  37. Votes to censure the Coastguards for not having brought the books. Passed.

  38. Dunstan can share Alison. Passed.

  39. Alison is being shared between Dunstan and ... she picks Martin to fill this important vacancy.

  40. Reading: As is traditional, the introduction to and first chapter of the New Testament. In which we are introduced to Pooh Bear and some Bees and the Stories begin.

  41. Every so often Alison will forget to bing and weíll censure her. Passed.

  42. The reading begins. Five seconds in, the first "oo-er".

  43. Jackís phone, with its truly amazing ring-tone, goes off.

  44. Neil: "So, youíve been contacted by beings from another planet." Jack: "Yes, but not today."

  45. Mobile phones are biscuits.

  46. Votes to censure the Classics library for not being open. Passed.

  47. John-h: The Engineer.

  48. All the Freshers have, perhaps understandably, left. John-h: "Shall we be normal now?"

  49. Neil: Disobedience.

  50. Rachel C: The Dormouse and the Doctor.

  51. Neil is volunteered as Jackís dance partner. Passed.

  52. Neil knows he wants to. Passed.

  53. Neil admits it [the dance] would be a pleasure.

  54. We donít recognise the EGM. So there.

  55. Neil: "Jack, can we nip outside the room for a moment?"

  56. Votes to censure all those who were there when the Sheila-style-cocoa-motion was passed. Passed.

  57. You can always re- re- re- ... (Owen descends into vague hand-waving.)

  58. Votes to censure Rosy when she minutes that (57.) wrong. Passed.

  59. Votes to censure all those who try to censure Rosy because they donít know either. Passed.

  60. We have different aims to CUWoCS. For example, we donít seek to be eaten by a giant squid.

  61. The meeting remains stationary and the universe moves around it. Passed.

  62. Maths is the most important thing that there is. Failed.

  63. If we get Physics wrong then the Universe will fall apart. Passed.

  64. It is therefore a very good job Rosyís dropped it. Passed.

  65. This meeting has destroyed the Universe a whole lot more than the last one did. Passed.

  66. That is the most exciting story Neil has heard all week. Passed.

  67. Votes to censure us for suggesting that Roz is a better story teller than Milne. Passed.

  68. Votes to close: Passed.

  69. Meeting reopened:

  70. Neil: "Are you OK?" Alison: "Yes, you just had to rip out my contact lens with your bear."

  71. Votes to close. Passed.

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©The Pembroke College Winnie-The-Pooh Society 2003.

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